Ruminations...

Yay!!!! this is the first day! My very own blog. now i can talk all the shit i want. today vivian and i had a very nice conversation about "fear". 2007 is about letting go of fears, and realizing dreams and setting goals for oneself! all the baggage has to get dumped. not so much an analysis of the baggage...because we already know what it is...SHIT... as much as a realization that we create these lies about who we are and what we want in order to make ourselves feel safe and comfortable. and this is the worst thing we can possibly do to ourselves! all the lies to keep the hate going; keep the misery going; keep the sadness, the depression, the excuses to stagnate going. all for a sense of comfort and a sense of knowing that is really predicated on our need to control... control ourselves and eventually control others. so much pain and so many wasted attempts and wasted energy. AND before you know it, you're 40 years old and wake up and wonder ..."what the fuck have i done???!!!"